Week 14: Disappointment

This week was filled with so many good things.  My parents were in town.  Jay went on an epic mountain bike ride on the peaks.  My photographs were on display downtown in the Artist’s Gallery.  Jay worked for the Overland Expo.  I gave not one, but two speeches at Toastmasters.  We had a great time at the first trail work day of the season.  For a week full of joy and promise, it ended with sadness and uncertainty.

Jay at trail work

Last Wednesday, we had what felt like an opportunity of a lifetime.  We interviewed to be the next Suburu IMBA Trail Care Crew.  This is our dream job and we have been thinking and talking about it for more than nine months.    Yesterday, we learned that we did not get the position.  It feels like a huge loss.  It was not just a job.  It was the start of a five year plan.  It seemed like the next logical step in our plan.  A way to continue to travel together while still working towards our respective careers.  It made sense.  Now, without that opportunity we are staring at blank map.  There is no clear path forward.

I am not afraid of a blank map, but the lack of direction is intimidating.  I want to start to draw lines and form boundaries to bring a new plan into view.  However, I am learning that sometimes it is most rewarding to just sit with the uncertainty.  As I sit here, with knots in my stomach and unemployment looming in six weeks, I am comforted in the knowledge that I sit next to my partner.  Together, Jay and I will untangle a way forward through this hairball of possibilities.  Who knows where we will be in July, but we will be there together and will keep taking risks to live a full and meaningful life.

This morning, the first day of knowing that we have no defined plan, we went out together for a mountain bike ride.  Without worrying about whether or not my mountain bike skills are good enough, I finally cleaned all of Soldier’s Trail.  We had a great ride together, just enjoying Flagstaff and one another.  It was actually one of the best days I have had in a long time.

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Two of my photographs in the window of the Artist’s Gallery downtown

Volunteering:  We participated in the first trail work day of the season with Flagstaff Biking Organization.  Sharon gave a tour at Riordan Mansion. I attended a planning meeting and continued to work on social media marketing for Sun Sounds of Arizona, promoting the 20th Annual Made in the Shade Beer Festival.

Beer of the Week:  Jay enjoyed the San Tan Devil’s Pale Ale and I enjoyed the Flagstaff Brewery Porter at Hops on Birch last night

Something New:  My parents were in town for a Road Scholar trip and we got to take them to a few of our favorite restaurants and local sites.

Highlight of Being in One Place: Finally cleaning Soldier’s Trail — having a local trail that I can ride before work.

Video of the Week: 

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9 responses to “Week 14: Disappointment

  1. brittanygoesglobal

    Hey Sharon- that is disappointing, I’m sorry you didn’t get the job you really wanted. I really believe that things will work out for the best for you though- perhaps through this you will find an even better opportunity you hadn’t considered, and it will end up being an incredible experience. I have no doubt you and Jay will find something incredible, because like attracts like. Best of luck and you have one fan rooting for ya!

  2. When one door closes another opens. Sounds cliche but if you keep your eyes open many times it turns out to be true.

  3. Hi Sharon! You always have such a good perspective and I am really proud of everything that you and Jay have accomplished over the past year+ on your journey. I’d be interested to hear who they did select for the Trail Care Crew because it seemed like a perfect fit for you and I think everyone you ever told about it thought the same. However, I know you’ll continue doing great things no matter where you end up in 6 weeks or 6 months. If anyone can take calculated risks, make the best of any situation, and come out ahead, it’s you! 🙂

  4. I’m so sorry to hear that you and Jay didn’t get the IMBA job. I know you’ll find something else that fits you both just right. I really do believe in the old adage about one door closing and a window opening. (Which apparently is popular with your commenters!)

  5. You two are so diverse in your abilities and ready to seriously help make a difference in the world. You will find something exciting that will put all of your talents to good use! I look forward to hearing about this next part of your journey! 🙂

  6. Melinda Bloom

    So sorry that you didn’t get the job, but I am impressed by the confidence and hope in your post. Hugs to you both!

  7. Thank you all for all of the support. Of course writing about being positive and looking forward to the next adventure is always easier than really doing it. This morning I was struck by all of the unknowns in our future and it was physically painful. That said, I was also appreciative of all of the blessings we have and I know that we will have other great opportunities to pursue in the future. Family and friends like all of you really make these uncertain times more bearable!

  8. I wish I had the right words of comfort. Taking time to get past the disappointment is important and not be too hard on yourselves is important. Any plans you start on will be stronger coming from a more positive perspective. Give yourself the kindness and kudos you deserve for putting yourselves out there in a high stakes way.

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