We ventured into Canada, in the Ontario province, for four nights this week. I was surprised by my lack of knowledge about our northern neighbor. Or more accurately, I was surprised that I had never considered how we are similar or different to Canadians.
Here is some of what I learned:
– Tell Canadians you are afraid of Moose and they will make fun of you. In fact, they think it’s hilarious and it will provide an entire evening of comedy as they mock you for this absurdity.
– Canada does have FM Radio. I know you were curious. So was I.
– At least in Ontario, they are not allowed to give their beers amusing names such as …. Canadians are classy and the Liquor Control Board won’t let them forget it.
– It is easy to break into apartments in small town Canada, if you’re an American that is. The Canadians don’t know how, but since they don’t use dead bolts, an AAA card or insurance card should do the trick. BTW, sharing this information with your Canadian friends just reinforces their true stereotype about the criminal proclivities of Americans.
– 100 MPH!! That’s crazy! Oops, 100 km/ hr… and that’s just slow.
– Canadian border control officers do not think you are a terrorist, just a poor sad unemployed American that is going to fall in love with their country and stay to try to find work. And unlike that hotel in California, you can stay, but you must leave. No seriously.